Friday, July 13, 2012

Friends without Children

So, I've seen a number of these different posts over the past few years since Weston was born, and I can totally relate, so I decided to write one of my own. I miss spending time with both my single friends and married friends without children; however, life has become so incredibly chaotic, and we rarely hang out with those friends at this stage in our lives, particularly our single friends. I think that the only people that we hang out with that don't have young children are my sister and brother in law and our parents and thankfully, they understand. Yes, it's sad, and yes, I miss my friends without children and my single friends...I still love you all, and I hope that before we know it we are able to spend more quality time together!

To all my friends who don't have children,

Life has drastically changed since before I had children, and I know that it's effected our friendship. I no longer answer the phone or return phone calls quickly. I only talk on the phone when I'm in the car driving down the road, and I have a few spare minutes. I don't want to talk on the phone at the end of a long day, so I won't usually return calls then. After the boys get in bed, and Weston comes out of his room a couple of times, it's usually after 9:00 PM, and I have to do laundry, dishes, straighten up the house, prepare for the next day and try to spend a little bit of time with my husband.

I didn't know that it would be so difficult, and I didn't plan to drift away from my friends. I want to see you as much as possible, but it's so much easier to stay at home. Traveling with two young children is difficult, especially when one or both of them are crying in the car. Packing up all the supplies and things that you need for two kids is a nightmare, and both the packing and unpacking are daunting tasks. I used to love to travel and would jump at the opportunity to get in the car and go for a weekend. Not anymore...I put off packing until the last minute, and I always fill up our vehicle with strollers, pack and play, travel high chair, clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, etc.

We hang out a lot more now with families who have kids that are close in age with Weston and William, because it's so much easier if the kids can entertain one another a bit. It allows the adults some time to talk, but they also understand when we have to stop in the middle of a conversation to get a snack, something to drink or help a child to the potty.

I want to take a week long trip with my girlfriends and go away, but I just can't. William is still breastfeeding, so I can't get too far from him. He also still wakes up every single night, and I want to be there for him as much as possible when he wakes up and needs me. I'm sorry that I can't join on your trips unless I bring one or both children with me, and it's a reasonable distance from home. But please know that I want to, and I hate to miss out on those times with you.

I remember when I used to talk on the phone to my girlfriends all the time, hang out and go shopping. I can't wait to do that again. I can't wait to be able to get away on the weekends for a few hours and just go shopping by myself. I just ask that you hang in there with me during the next few years. It's difficult but very fun phase, and I don't want to mess anything up.

Note: To my single or married friends without children, please do not read this as a negative or belittling post. I respect you guys so much, and I know that life is busy and crazy for you, as well, between volunteer projects, organizations, jobs, etc.  I miss you all, and I so badly want to spend time with you.

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