A sweet friend of mine back in Athens had a c-section this morning, and she brought into the world her 3rd baby. She knew what she was having with her first two, and she has two beautiful, sweet little girls. This time around, she decided to wait and be surprised. This morning, she and her husband welcomed a baby boy!
She and her husband love their two perfect little girls to pieces, but they've both been aching for a little boy to complete their family. This morning they welcomed that little one, and it was a surprise for everyone! I know they are thrilled and feeling so excited and happy today, and I'm SO happy for them. I was so thrilled to get her text message, and I ran down the hall at work to tell Grant that they had a boy! He was excited for them, and he sent her husband, a friend of his, a text message immediately.
At the same time, I walk back down the hall, and I'm excited, but I feel a sense of longing and sadness in my heart. Grant and I decided long ago that we would have two children, and we are SO grateful that God blessed us with two perfect, wonderful little boys. We are so grateful that they are happy, healthy and thriving, and I know that Grant loves having two boys. I also love having two boys, and I love being a "boy" mom. It's SO much fun!
I also cannot get it out of my head that William is my last baby...I can't get past it, and I'm really struggling with it, especially now as he approaches a year old. He's almost a year old, and I'll never have another opportunity to go through another 1st year. I'll never have the pregnancy experience again or be able to breastfeed another baby for a year. That is definitely one of my favorite things with both of my boys! He's crawling, sitting, pulling up, almost walking...I'll never go through that again. I'm sure many women go through this after their last babies...How do they cope? I know that I will continue to see what a fun and exciting age my two boys are at now and how they are growing and so much fun. That does a lot to keep my mind off of it, but the sadness never completely subsides.
I also think part of it is the relationship that I have with my mother. I want that type of relationship with a daughter as I get older. I talk with my mom every day without fail, and I enjoy that time we talk, even if only for a brief few minutes. I enjoyed planning my wedding with my mom and planning for my babies. I know that boys love their mothers and have a special bond, but I'm pretty confident that I won't be planning either of their weddings, baby nurseries or talking with them daily once they have a family of their own. My heart has a longing for a sweet little girl to share this with...maybe one day, I'll have a daughter through another pregnancy or adoption, God only knows, or maybe God will give me this type of relationship with my future daughter in law or a niece. I will continue to pray particularly that these feelings are short lived. In the meantime, I'm so incredibly grateful for these two miracles...
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